General Tips

The most important success factors for conversations in the work context, regardless of the occasion, include

a suitable framework
a respectful attitude
Knowledge of various dialogue techniques
solution-orientation
appropriate preparation and, if necessary, follow-up

Graphic with link: Click here to play the video on "General tips for conducting conversations"

Selected Dialogue Techniques

Conscious and structured dialogue creates clarity, promotes mutual understanding and builds trust. Three key techniques that are used here are active listening, first-person statements and targeted questioning techniques.

Misunderstandings often arise in conversations because the dialogue partners fail to understand each other´s perspectives. With the active listening method, you can build up this understanding in a targeted manner. This creates an atmosphere of safety, appreciation and acceptance. Your conversation gains substance and clear solutions are reached without causing misunderstandings.

Additional graphic with three colums: level 1, level2 and level 3 of active listening, information also found in the headlines of the text below

Level 1: You listen consciously and attentively

Focus exclusively on listening to the other person. Do not interrupt the person you are talking to. Maintain eye contact and show him/her in this way that you are paying full attention to what he/she is telling you. You can emphasise this, for example, by nodding your head slightly or saying an affirmative "mmhm" or "yes". It is helpful for communication when such signals are sent. This does not mean that you agree with the content of the message, it is simply a signal that you have received the message. Use your signals carefully.

Level 2: You consciously summarise and ask whether you have understood the message correctly.

At this stage, you demonstrate your intention to understand. Summarise the content in your own words, e.g. by repeating and paraphrasing the key terms

So you think that...
I can hear that you are of the opinion...
If I understand you correctly...
Ask questions: this is how you show interest in the person you are talking to, encourage them to continue talking and clarify if you have not understood something.

Level 3: You recognise the feelings of the person you are talking to.

At this stage, you not only repeat what you have heard, but also pay attention to the speakers emotions. This allows them to better recognise their feelings and correct your statement if necessary. The goal is to describe the feelings, not to judge or interpret them.

With an I-message, you reveal something of your own thoughts and feelings. In contrast, a "you" message is a statement directed at the other person. I-messages are important in order to give feedback, to explain your own expectations and values and to contrast different points of view.

You statement: "You have misunderstood me."
I-statement: "I may have expressed myself incorrectly."

You statement: "Your suggestion is useless."
I-statement: "I see it differently."

You statement: "You never say anything."
Me statement: "I'd be interested to hear your opinion."

You statement: "You don't know anything about that."
Me statement: "I think you might be missing some important information."

By adopting an enquiring attitude during a conversation, you show serious interest in the person you are talking to. This forms the basis for a trusting conversation in which the other person opens up. By asking questions, you can also understand different points of view and try to find a common solution.

Open questions (also known as W questions: who, what, when, why, how, where) allow for detailed answers and encourage dialogue. They are useful if you want to encourage the person you are speaking with to think, if you want to find out more about their thoughts and feelings, if you are looking for different possible solutions or if the conversation is stalling.

How do you see the project progressing?

Ask closed questions if you want to ask for agreement or disagreement. They provide clear, concise information and are suitable for the end of a conversation or a section of a conversation, for example, if you are summarising or asking for the agreement of the person you are talking to.

Have you received the report?

Solution-orientated questions shift the focus away from problems and towards specific wishes and goals. They encourage you to recognise existing resources and strengths. This creates a positive dialogue atmosphere in which creative and practicable solutions can grow.

When did it last work well and why?

Clarifying questions ensure a common understanding.

What exactly do you mean by...?

In-depth questions explore details or shed light on the background.

Why is this important to you?

Scaling questions measure assessments and satisfaction on a scale.

On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you?

Hypothetical questions open your mind to possibilities and creative solutions.

What if we could double the budget?

Berger, P. (2018): Praxiswissen Führung. Grundlagen – Reflexion – Haltung. Hamburg: Springer Gabler.

Gührs, M.; Nowak, C. (2002). Das konstruktive Gespräch. Ein Leitfaden für Beratung, Unterricht und Mitarbeiterführung mit Konzepten der Transaktionsanalyse (5. Aufl.). Meezen: Limmer.

Proske, H.; Reiff, E. (2012): Zielvereinbarungen und Jahresgespräche (2. Aufl.). Haufe.

General Tips

Selected Dialogue Techniques

For All Visitors

For Students

Internal Tools

Contact